On the Far Shores of Motherhood

The role of daughters when our mothers die

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Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

And it was only at that moment that I understood I was completely free.

“My mother sucked the blood of out of me,” my friend on the phone said, talking about her year she spent by her mother’s bedside as she lay dying. “Like a vampire, almost like she wanted to take me with her or something.” Yes, I said, I had that experience too.

We only get a reprieve when we marry…

More than the left hand, I said. The Little Mother. In our traditional, patriarchal families, we are groomed to support her, and step into her place when she’s gone. We only get a reprieve when we marry and our care and support and identity is invested in building a new family; but that reprieve is lifted when the parents get old and sick and need our help again.

Producer and host of the bi-monthly podcast, Artipoeus: Art You Can Hear, and founder of Pretty Deadly Self Defense. www.artipoeus.com / www.prettydeadly.org

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